Highs and Lows

Had my 1st weigh-in today since rejoining WW. What a great week. Lost 7.2 pounds. I'm so excited about this. Yeah, I know it could be mostly water weight, but I'll take it. Not gonna be looking any gift horses in the mouth. Hoping to lose 2.8 pounds this week to get my first 10 pounds off.

The not-so-good news this week is that the doctor will not release me to go back to work until at least Monday because of my back. This puts me in a dire financial situation since I won't get paid if I don't work. Had planned to go back to VA next week to see my family, and now that trip is in jeopardy. I'm so down about this that it really overshadows the weight loss. When I got the news, just after my weigh-in, I went into sort of an emotional tailspin and went to the Golden Corral buffet and ate until I was nearly in pain. I know I will get up in the morning and start over again, so I'm not going to beat myself up over this mistake, but the fact remains I'm in sort of a dark place right now. Hopefully, things will start looking up, and I will be allowed to go back to work on Monday.

I'll update next week after weigh-in unless something comes up before then.
Have a good week!

Jennifer
HW: 320.8
Rejoined 4/11/07
SW: 295.2
CW: 288
GW: 150
10% goal: 265

The Numbers Are In!

Went to a meeting and rejoined WW yesterday. I'm so excited to be getting started again, but I have to say the meeting was a disappointment. A lot of duds in the group, a very low energy meeting. Gonna have to find a more spirited group to keep me motivated. Anyhoo, you'll find my new stats below. I'm going to try and make Monday my weigh-in day for now, so that means I won't get a full week for the first weigh-in which worries me a little. I'll check in again on Monday after weigh-in unless something happens in the meantime.

Jen
HW: 320.8
Rejoined 4/11/07
SW: 295.2
CW: 295.2
GW: 150
10% goal: 265

Hello Old Blog!

I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I started this blog. So much has changed and so much has not. My last post was almost 9 months ago. I believe I was about to rejoin WW after some time away because I had been off the program and gained some weight and was sad to find that it was summer again and I was still fat. I'm not sure if I ever followed through with that but I haven't been on WW since at least last fall, and yes, I've gained back a lot of the weight I lost in '05-'06. I'm planning to start back on the program (once again) because summer is approaching, and I'm still fat. This will now be my 3rd last fat summer! To make things even more dramatic, I turn 40 this summer (July 12 to be exact), so I feel a renewed sense of urgency to get back on the stick.

Although the story you are hearing sounds familiar, sort of the story of my life, a lot really has changed since my last post. I met a great guy at an online dating site toward the end of August '06. His name is Rich. We got to know each other online for a few months and finally met in person in November '06. The bad news about this budding relationship is that he lives in Oklahoma City, halfway across the country from me. The good news is that I started travel nursing again and took an assignment in OKC starting December '06. I've been here ever since. The job is still temporary, with my contract ending June 9. I'm not sure if I will try to stay here for another 13 weeks or if I will go back home or what. We are sort of negotiating our options at this point, with him not really wanting to commit to anything and me ready to settle down and move in together. We are working hard at finding a happy medium that we can both live with, for now at least. He's the first guy I've ever been with who loves me in spite of my weight issues and who isn't asking me to change something about myself. Hard to let that go. I realize that I'm incredibly blessed to have him in my life, although I'm sure I don't tell him that enough lately, and during a recent spat when it seemed like the relationship was ending, I realized that I'm happier in this imperfect relationship that without it. I guess there's not really such thing as a perfect relationship anyway.

So here I am, ready to do the WW again. It's sort of funny because I think it was about the same time last year that I was recommitting to WW and dealing with a back injury, which I am again as I write this. The back problems seem to be an annual event as much as my pronouncements about how I'm getting on track with the weight loss thing. But even though I have struggled for years and years with my weight, I'm sort of proud of myself. I went back and read this blog since the beginning. I lost 40 pounds on WW. That's pretty kick-ass! Yes, I've gained most of it back, but I'm still proud that even with all the turmoil my life always seems to be in, I still managed to do that for myself. I know I can't rest on past laurels but it gives me a little motivation to do it once again.

I'm going to the noon WW meeting today, so I'll be posting with all my starting stats (I'm sure it won't be pretty). Looking forward to making a new start all over again!

Jen
(5:27 am CST)

Okay, THIS is my last fat summer!

I can't believe it's been over a year since I started this stupid blog, and there's been no progress on the getting in shape thing. I did something gnarly to my lower back, and so I've been living on Vicodin and fast food for a while. Not exactly the breakfast of champions. My back is getting a little better, and I'm planning to go to the gym today for the first time in months. I've gotta get my life back under control. I turned 39 a couple weeks ago, so I have 50 weeks left to get it together because I don't want to be fat and 40!!! I'll try to do better about updating this blog. Hopefully, there will be good news to share in the future!

Jen

320.8/291.5/150

Feeling Groovy

I went to a WW meeting yesterday for the first time in weeks. I had gained 5.6 pounds since before Thanksgiving. It was a little depressing, but I feel great that I'm getting myself back on track. Yesterday was a good day. I counted my points and woke up this morning feeling lighter already. My biggest challenge now is to get to the gym. I'm almost phobic about it. If I could get back into that habit, I'd have it made. My goal for the next few weeks is to hit my 50-pound weight loss before Valentines Day. Then perhaps I could stop thinking of V-day in such hateful terms. Maybe it could be a day to love MYSELF!

Jen
320.8/286/150

New Year's Blues

I've been away from the site for almost 3 months. I've had a nice holiday, but I've gained some weight back and now have to backtrack. I hate that! The worst part is that I have no motivation to do anything! I'm really going to try to make a new start today in spite of the fact that all I want to do is bury myself under the cover with a bag of chocolates and forget the whole thing. I'll let you know next week sometime if I was able to get started. In my head, I see myself doing it (i.e. munching on salads, sweating it out at the gym, going to my WW meetings) but my body is not getting the message! I've been a big ole marshmallow for the last several weeks, and I've got to snap out of it!!

Jen
320.8/286.5/150

Sex on the Brain

Ever since I've started losing weight, all I can think about is sex! I guess that's what happens when you start feeling better about yourself. It's a little frustrating, though, because I'm a long way from feeling like I want to do something about it. At least with another person in the room! Especially since I started going to the gym, I just have this heightened awareness of my body. Oh, well. I can't really complain. It keeps me motivated to keep going when I otherwise might not want to. Such a nice reward to look forward to....

Jen
320.8/280.8/150