Slow Improvement

Well, I had a good weigh-in today, down 2.2 pounds, but I still feel a little disappointed. I've been flirting with my 20 pound mark for a month now. I know I will get it next week, but I was really hoping today would be the day. I guess I've been beating myself up a little for having to backtrack and lose the same weight twice in one month, but it stops now. Onward and downward from here.

I've been stressing out over some major life decisions lately, and I feel like it wouldn't take much to get me off track again. Sort of like an alcoholic who is just getting sober. I've been planning to buy a house before the end of the year, and I feel like I need to do it soon because of rising interests rates, but I've been having some serious anxiety over whether it's what I really want. I've put my life (and my money) on hold for a year trying to get things paid off and save a little cash, but I don't think buying a house is what I really want. It's what my family wants and expects, and I have to admit that I get caught up in it sometimes, too. But I'm planning to go back to travel nursing, which means I would only be home for short periods of time during the year. I'm not sure I want to make that kind of investment if I'm never going to be here. I'd have to have someone look after the place, and it would just be a mess. Plus, truth be told, I don't think I'm financially stable enough for a house. I make a good income, but I also have a lot of student loan debt which is weighing me down so that I have very little disposable income. So...I've been thinking about scrapping the house plan and going back to travel nursing now vs. several more months of saving every penny and working a job I don't like in order to buy a house that I can't afford, don't really want, and will rarely live in. Seems like a no-brainer until I think about telling my family.

Anyway, I can't figure it all out tonight, so I think I'll go rent a movie. More later....

Jen
320.8/301/150

Late Summer Challenge

I just realized that it' s exactly 8 weeks until Sept. 15. My goal for the summer was to hit my 10% weight loss goal, which I'm nowhere near right now. So, I'm recommitting to my goal. I need to get down to 288.7 by 9/15. That's about 7 pounds a month or 1.75 pounds a week. Totally doable!! I'm enjoying this new wave of optimism and hope....

Jen
320.8/303.2/150

Birthday Blues

Turning 38 today and I've got a mean case of the blues. I saw a picture of myself at the beach on a day when I was feeling pretty good about myself, only to find out that I could have easily been mistaken for a beached whale. I had no idea how hideous I look until I saw the picture. I carry all my weight around my middle, so my stomach looks like this gigantic tumor on the front of my body. It just came as a shock because I don't feel anything like the person in the picture. If I didn't absolutely have to leave the house to work, I think I'd probably barricade myself inside so I never have to show myself out in public again. I can't believe this is what I've become. I feel completely hopeless and black.

Jen

Paying the Piper

Well, my recent lapses have finally caught up with me. I gained for the 1st time since starting WW. Although 0.6 pounds is not a tragedy, I felt devastated but not at all surprised. I'm having a birthday this week, so hopefully my gift to myself will be to get it together, stay OP and keep active, and hit my 20 pound weight loss goal by next Saturday's weigh-in. I know that's not exactly a realistic goal, but I believe it's doable, and it would be the kind of small victory that could really get me back on track. Have a good week everybody!

Jen
320.8/303.4/150

An Unwelcome Vacation

I can't believe 3 weeks have gone by without a post. I've been taking an unintentional break from WW, and I guess I didn't feel I had anything of value to say. In spite of being off program for a while, I still have been going to the meetings and weighing in. I've somehow managed to stay on a losing track, although slow, in spite of my lapse. Last Saturday, I was down 2 pounds. Couldn't believe it. Took a friend from work and got her signed up (and we both received the cheap-ass radio), so I hope that will help me get back on track for the rest of the summer. I've got another weigh-in in the morning, so we'll see how it goes. I really want to hit 20 pounds lost in the next week or two.

I can't really say what happened to derail me. I just started having little binges on things like ice cream (my Achilles heel) and Taco Bell. Once that started happening, I quit writing down my points because it was just too depressing to see it in print. Luckily, in addition to the other cravings, I've also been craving veggies. Something about summer, I guess, where I like to eat squash and tomatoes and green beans and stuff. So that's it. Just veggies and Breyers. Hey...at least I've been getting my calcium. I usually have a hard time with that since I hate milk.

So, here we go again. Another crisis behind me, and tomorrow's another day, Scarlett. Thanks to all the other WW bloggers, especially kja, for keeping me inspired.

Jen
320.8/302.8/150